I Need a Super Man

February 5, 2013 stephhwilliams 0 Comments

Okay, “need” might be a strong word. And I’m sure if I tweeted about this, someone would surely throw up the “firstworldproblems” hashtag. But in the grand scheme of what makes me smile, I need Superman to be a super man.

Words cannot express (which pains me to even say) how excited I am for the Man of Steel movie. And for the one or two of you who’ve been paying attention to this blog, you know that it was a long, whiny road for me to get to the point of being excited rather than nervous. I mean, it’s Superman. It *has* to be good. He’s been out of the sun too long, and those of us who adore the character know that’s not a good thing.

So as the June release date approaches at a snail’s pace, Empire Magazine recently released its Man of Steel collector’s cover:

Empire 2013
Empire 2013

When I first saw the cover online, I was still well within my “oh my gosh, it’s gonna be good” stage (and may have panted a little too). Then, I texted MorganMorganMorgan … and it all went to shit.

Okay, let me explain. Once Cavill was cast for the role, I regularly scavenged the internet for photos of him in the suit. One such photo …


… prompted Bryan to joke about his stubby arms. He said they looked too short for his body. And he went on and on about how Zod would have to be standing pretty darn close to Supes for Supes to stand a chance. I pouted. I whined. I glared. He eventually shut up (well, sort of) and I moved on. I became a die-hard Cavill fan (okay, that’s too strong, I mean, I’d still rather see Tom Welling in the role but that ship has sailed) and got all giddy about the movie.

So, I see the Empire cover and I text MorganMorganMorgan. Because, also in the grand scheme of things that make me smile, I need her to appreciate how super Superman is.

text convo

Again with the stubby arms! My brain can’t handle it! Clearly I’m impressionable and/or a female version of Shallow Hal and can’t see past negative mental images. (The Jasper reference in the text convo above, for the non-Twilight fans: MorganMorganMorgan once told me she read somewhere about how dude who played Jasper always looked constipated in the movie. I can’t not see it now.)

So a couple of nights ago, I watched The Cold Light of Day, hoping to see Cavill really knock my socks off in an action role. It didn’t happen. All that did happen was that I kept seeing his stubby arms from every angle. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough …


… I can now add seeing him relegated to the chick position on the back of someone’s scooter. Oy vey.

Now, I know I shouldn’t hold this against him. It’s a different movie. And, yes, it’s just a movie. But Superman deserves a super movie. Can this stubby-armed Man of Steel be my super man?

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