I recently posted about giving up on the book I’ve been “writing” for years. So, lately I’ve been feeling quite like a quitter or a failure.
The last couple of Sundays, we’ve visited a different church than we normally attend and the messages dealt with what you can do with your life.
You can waste your life.
You can spend your life.
You can invest your life.
The pastor used Facebook as an example of wasting your life and, well, I can’t really argue with that. He said you could spend your life doing something that makes you a living but isn’t really what you were meant to do. Then he said you could invest your life, using the talents God gave you to do what it is He created you for and, when you do: “that’s the joy, man, that’s the sweet spot.”
I’ve been saying for awhile that I don’t think being a lawyer is what God intended for me. It’s not something I’m passionate about, not something that ever bring me joy.
There’s teaching. I like teaching. Sure, I get frustrated sometimes, but I do still enjoy it.
Then there’s writing. When I’m doing it, I love it, but sometimes the motivation to get there is lacking.
When we came home from church after the first visit, I took a nap (very sweet!). I dreamt a new story. It centered on three girls. In my dream, the story was complete, made sense, was moving. When I woke up, I felt that God was telling me to write it. The only problem: I can’t really remember enough of it to make sense.
So what does that mean? God’s not telling me to write it? He is, but he wants me to struggle with it? If I don’t struggle, I don’t really want it bad enough? What if I get it wrong? Is there a right or wrong?
If only there was some way to transcribe my dreams. But then, I guess, it wouldn’t be writing. It’d just be dreaming. Would that make dreaming my sweet spot? Hmmm, I suppose if He’d throw in Tom Welling, I could live with that. Whoops, I think I missed the point.