My Kid Got Kicked Out of Daycare

March 15, 2011 stephhwilliams 2 Comments

Ok, not really.  He only got suspended.  Yeah, only.  The dreadful day was last Thursday, when I got the call that our 3-year-old, Wonder Boy (as in I wonder if he’ll be the death of me), was in the daycare director’s office and needed to be picked up.  When I arrived, I was told he could not return to school on Friday, having been suspended.  (Well, truth be told, they handed me a letter that said this, rather than just telling me.  Something about seeing “suspended” in writing makes it worse, I guess). We also got the warning that if “something like this” happens again, he’ll be asked to leave permanently.  Yikes!

So what must a 3-year-old do to get suspended from daycare? Ooh, ooh, I know this one! Go ballistic on his classmates for starters.  Turns out, Thursday was a bad anger-management day for Wonder Boy.  He scratched one kid on the neck … I suppose he went for the jugular; he punched another kid full on in the mouth; and finally (as if the first two weren’t enough), he swung a kid around by the shirt collar while the kid cried for his mommy. From what I could gather, two of the three resulted in blood flow.

After I picked him up, completely aghast as to what to do next, I posted on Twitter and Facebook because, you know, misery loves company.  Well, of course, I got some supportive tweets from my peeps but one in particular stood out.  You can always count on @bpmore for a laugh (and WordPress help, but that’s a whole other story).  In the midst of the “I’m sorry”s and “Poor girl”s and even “Been there, done that”s from tweeps, @bpmore said:

[blackbirdpie id=”45929845166845952″]

So there you go, man; this t-shirt’s for you.

Now, lest anyone think I’m not taking this seriously, I can promise you I am.  It’s just, there comes a point where if you don’t laugh about something, you’ll cry.  Yeah, I’m there.  We have hit a roadblock.  Wonder Boy went back to school on Monday, and I’ve spent the last two days dreading the call that will necessitate me actually buying the t-shirt.  When I picked him up yesterday, despite his announcement “I be good!”, I learned that he had twisted a child’s ear until it turned red. (He told dad that he twisted it until it was “inferno.” Now before anyone like Mema or Pepa miss the point and think he must be a genius for knowing that word, it’s a Pokemon.  He’s no genius.)  Unfortunately, the teacher who was present during the ear-twisting incident was already gone for the day, so I was unable to discern whether he thought he was playing or actually looked angry while twisting away.  I’m not sure it matters one bit; I’m just grasping at straws here people.  Apparently, the ear-twisting didn’t constitute “something like this,” so I haven’t ordered the t-shirt yet.

What should we do?  Obviously, I can’t blame the daycare if they ultimately give him the boot.  If my kid were one of the ones he terrorizes, I might even demand it.  But what do we do?  Is this just a stage? Do we seek therapy? I’m being serious here (really). Despite Wonder Boy being our third child, this is a first for us.  The Girl was the “bitee” at daycare.  Boy Genius, though he’s a rough player at home, is an angel and rocket scientist at school.  We’ve had some recommendations for Karate, specifically Taekwondo, so I’ll be looking into that. We need a plan of action; I have enough t-shirts.

2 People reacted on this

  1. I totally feel ya. We went through some rough times with the Monkey Boy when he was 3. Sent home multiple times. I laughed off as much as I could bc what else can you do?

    Few things:
    1) Most likely, this is a wait it out scenario. MB was just b-a-d bad for awhile, then he stopped. I don’t know why. Some tactics helped but mostly, he grew out of it.
    2) Is he eating often enough? When we started tracking when his worst behavior took place, it was at a time when he’d gone a long time without eating. We arranged to get him a snack and things improved.
    3) Is he getting enough rest? I have no idea what his bedroom looks like, but if there’s a computer in there with a screen saver on at night, it can be massively disrupting for a sleep cycle. Does he snore? If he has sleep apnea, he is not getting good rest that way either. Tired kids are rarely well-behaved.
    4) Are they being consistent with him? Does his teacher laugh off behavior one day and punish it another day? If he’s getting mixed signals, he really doesn’t know what’s expected of him. This one is hard bc they will obviously say that they are. And getting a clear picture of that is tough.
    5) Do they praise him when he’s good or do they only pay attention when he’s bad? Negative attention is attention and if the only way he gets noticed, that may be what he’s after.

    OK, that’s way more than 2 cents worth. Hope you were serious when you said you wanted any advice. We ended up moving MB after we realized the biggest part of his problem was inconsistent discipline and exclusively negative attention. New place didn’t let him hurt other kids, but ignored bad behavior as much as possible and praised him like crazy for good stuff. It was very effective.

    1. All of these are excellent points and I’m so thankful you took the time to write them down! We’ve talked about switching schools because of potentially inconsistent discipline (and we’re afraid he may always end up in trouble because he now has “a reputation,” i.e., meaning he’ll never get the benefit of the doubt). I definitely think negative attention might be a driving force as well. With that many young children in the room, I imagine the teacher spends most of her time scolding rather than praising. I honestly hadn’t thought about getting enough to eat or sleep, but it makes perfect sense. I mean, I know I’m cranky when I’m tired or hungry, though I don’t typically draw blood (but I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it). There’s no computer or TV in his room but he shares with an older brother who may be keeping him up at night. I’m gonna have to start paying attention to what time of day these “bad” incidents happen, because they only get one snack a day in the afternoons and that may be an issue as well. Wow, didn’t mean to write a book back to you but so thankful to have someone to “talk it out” with. Thanks for commenting!

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