Twenty(-two) Questions

A friend posted this on our local mommies forum and, though it took me awhile, I went through the questions with The Girl and Boy Genius. (Bryan swears that he did this same thing with the kids months ago and emailed it to me, but I’m not convinced. Besides, it’s fairly likely their answers are ever-changing). The Girl’s answers are in red; Boy Genius’ are in blue. Some of the answers are nothing special, but some are funny and others are a little bit sad. Things to know about the kids to determine what credence to give the answers are: (1) The Girl wants everyone to be happy and would hate to think she’d said anything that might hurt my feelings; and (2) Boy Genius is a smart*@!, plain and simple. He comes by it honest, though we’re constantly attempting to reign it in before it gets out of hand.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
“I love you”
“Wait” [We’re working on learning patience; it’s not going well.]

2. What makes mom happy?
“Me”
“To keep [Wonder Boy] safe”

3. What makes mom sad?
“Me being gone”
“Jumping all over the house like a monkey” [It usually results in me proclaiming “George is getting frustrated!” (That’s Seinfeld for those that don’t know.)]

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
“When she laughs” [This is very true…when I laugh The Girl laughs; maybe I sound funny?]
“By saying something that makes me laugh”

5. What was your mom like as a child?
“Nice and sweet and cute” [I’m pretty sure “like me” was implied.]
“You were a good child” [I’m pretty sure the implication here was “not like me.”]

6. How old is your mom?
“34”
“I don’t know; tell me!”

7. How tall is your mom?
“I don’t know” [Said with a look like “why would I need to know such useless information?”]
“About 40 inches” [What????]

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
“Type on the computer”
“Be hugged by [Wonder Boy]”

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
“Types on the computer”
“Get on the computer” [Something they agree on; it’s a rare occurrence. It must be true!]

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
“Writing books”
[shrugged shoulders] [At this point, he’s losing interest.]

11. What is your mom really good at?
“Being a momma” [Awhhh, shucks, honey!]
“Let’s see…spelling,” and when dad chuckled behind him, he continued “what? She could win a trophy in spelling bees.” [It’s actually true; I am a very good speller.]

12. What is your mom not very good at?
“I don’t know; I can’t choose” [At first I thought she was sugar coating, but, on second thought, I think she might be insinuating there are two many choices!]
“I don’t know; she’s good at everything” [Okay, clearly, here he has decided to be completely honest and devoid of any trademark sarcasm.]

13. What does your mom do for her job?
“Writing teacher”
“Teaches college”

14. What is your mom’s favorite food?
“I have no idea”
“Chicken and rice” [This is his favorite food, not mine.]

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
“Her being my momma”
[shrugged shoulders] [Again, boredom’s setting in.]

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
“Goofy” [Hey! This is completely out of character for her!]
“Grey Matter” [This is the tiny yet super-smart alien from Ben 10; hey, I’ll take it.]

17. What do you and your mom do together?
“Type”
“Nothing” [Seriously? You little runt!]

18. How are you and your mom the same?
“We’re both nice” [She really is!]
“Brown eyes”

19. How are you and your mom different?
“I like cheese” [I don’t dislike cheese; I just don’t hold it in such high regard as she does.]
“You’re taller and I’m smaller”

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
“She acts like it”
“Because …hmm….I don’t know, you don’t act like you love me and that’s not very nice” [Again, see my comment to #17.]

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
“He is very nice and loves her very much”
“He’s handsome, and that’s true (as he gives dad a thumbs up)” [I’m seeing a pattern of approval-seeking behavior here…]

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
“I don’t know”
“The movie theater because [to daddy] she loves Harry Potter movies so much that when a new one starts she runs like that speeding guy on Ben 10 to the movie theater and … (goes silent while mimicking shoveling popcorn into his mouth and stretching his eyes wide with excitement).” [Yeah, and that might be the last movie above a G rating that I saw in a theater!]

So, I’m just going to pick the answers I like and pretend the ones I don’t are “ever-changing” as I mentioned before. If I have a little patience (you know, wait long enough), maybe Boy Genius will learn that “brown eyes” aren’t the only thing we have in common.