Life’s Little Underbelly

Let me tell you about the last week or so of my wonderful life. Now, I’ll start with the following disclaimer before I get on a whine box: I am very thankful for all the ways in which God has blessed and continues to bless me. The Spirit of the Almighty can overwhelm, relieving you from the pains and sins of the past and renewing you in Him. I try more and more to walk worthy of Him. Unfortunately, there are still days when life gets to me and makes me just want to cry, not necessarily out of sadness, but out of anxiety and fatigue. I’d say the last seven or eight days fall squarely into that category.
I awoke late last Wednesday morning expecting the kids’ school (and thus the classes I teach) to be canceled due to inclement weather. Schools were closed on Tuesday and the local meteorologists had been predicting another dangerously icy day. Well, it was cold and wet and there were a few ice patches here and there, but school was on. So I hopped in the shower while Bryan fixed the kids’ breakfast. By the time I finished showering and dressing, I had just enough time to force Boy Genius to change into something that matched better before scurrying out the door, with no make-up and wet hair, to drive the kids to school. When I got back to the apartment, Wonder Boy was up and dressed (thanks Daddy!), and I had a headache from the wet hair hot-and-cold see-saw. Great way to start the day, huh?
It didn’t improve, and I spent the day aggravated at the gas company and, let’s face it, the world. I got through my first class and got a call from Wonder Boy’s pre-school that he was running a slight fever. So I rushed through some important information to let my second class out early and hurry off to pick up a sick baby. I spent the rest of the day fighting to wipe Wonder Boy’s nose (it looked like it hurt; I’d fight, too); returning phone calls; responding to emails; shoveling snacks into kids’ mouths and shoveling dog !*@# into poop bags (hate to get that confused!); and…. (breathe)…trying to pack what “little stuff” we had with us in the corporate housing without any boxes, realizing that “little stuff” was really a lot, and trying not to think about the fact that we had to be moved out of the corporate housing on the next day! [We have yet to sell our house in Tennessee and, thus, are renting a townhome here in the interim; yeah, double payments! Ugh.]
So, let’s just jump ahead to Thursday evening, shall we? We had to be out of the apartment by 11:59 p.m. (would anyone actually come check? surely not…). While Bryan and the kids and the dogs were asleep at the new place, I was at the apartment finishing the packing (still sans boxes), loading and cleaning. I think I pulled out of the complex parking lot at 11:45 p.m.
So Friday, I’m exhausted and likely wearing mismatched socks (living out of boxes, or rather trashbags, never gets easy). Thank goodness I’d had the forethought to cancel classes for Friday due to moving obligations (the students had a group assignment due Monday, so I had instructed that they use Friday’s class time to work with their groups…yeah, sure). Our internet connection in the new place was supposed to be activated on Friday; at least, that’s what the sales rep told me when I placed the order for service the week before. Turned out, AT&T arbitrarily assigned a new connection date of the following Tuesday and I had no recourse. So, I couldn’t grade online assignments, pay bills, check email and, most importantly, update my blog or play on Facebook. (I’ll admit, I went through a bit of withdrawal.)
But here we are about a week later, and we’re slowly getting settled in the townhome with a hodge-podge of furniture we brought from Tennessee (hand-picked so as to not mess with the “staging” of the house) and that which Bryan acquired as a result of his recently discovered, and surprising, talent for finding garage-sale deals. (More power to you, babe; I hate garage sales.) It’s really not so bad here either, other than it’d be great to have a yard to put the kids (oops, I mean dogs) in sometimes. Okay, okay, so I can relax a little now, right? Wrong!
It’s February. It’s February…something about February…something I’m supposed to do in February….what is it…can’t put my finger on it…something looming overhead…February, hmmm….what could it be….ooohhhh, !@*#! The bar exam is in 2 weeks! (In an earlier post, I explained that I’d have to take the Arkansas bar despite being licensed in Alabama and Tennessee).
What am I going to do? Why am I doing this? Do I really need to do this? Why? Why? Wwwhhhyyy? Apparently, and this may come as a shock to many, I like to bite off more than I can chew…you know, so that I end up gnawing my way up from the underbelly of a load of something, gasping for breath and swearing that I’ll never do that again! Yep, that’d be me alright. You know, because obviously preparing to take a 3-day bear of a test isn’t enough, I’ve got to go and move and start a new job and yada, yada, yada all at the same time!
So, if I say I had better pass this one because I sure as heck am not taking another bar ever again, it’ll be like the boy crying wolf, huh? No, really, please God…this has to be it. When I was preparing for Tennessee, I remember saying, if it’s not meant for me to pass, then I won’t and asking for forgiveness in advance in the event that I failed and pride got the better of me. Thankfully, I passed and was not forced to face my pride issues at that juncture. But then we moved and now I ask why???? Awhhh, nuts, is it time to face the music????

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