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A House Divided

A lot of noteworthy stuff happened this weekend:

  • It was Valentine’s Day.
  • The 13yo attended his first school dance (and actually had fun).
  • We went to a local restaurant’s grand opening (and wine tasting, ftw!).
  • Justice Scalia died.
  • I won a door prize at a health fair (seriously, I never win anything).
  • We saw Deadpool (which is worthy of its R-rating, duh).
  • The Walking Dead returned.
  • The Girl lightened her hair (after years of wanting it darker).
  • I threw my back out (which is either exercise-related or simple payback for all my “I’m not that old” talk of late).

But, not to diminish the significance and/or seriousness of any of that, there’s really only one thing I want to talk about: the latest and last official trailer for Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Here it is ICYMI:

I’m trying so hard to not freak out right now. I’m over Batfleck. I refuse to be close-minded and hate a movie without even seeing it. But I’m struggling. I’ve already complained about the order of the names in the title. I mean, this is supposed to be a Man of Steel sequel, right? And Batman’s gotten enough silver screen royalty treatment. But, come ON.

The latest trailer, itself only a little over two minutes (2:19 to be exact), opens up with 45 seconds of pure Batman. He’s going to take out some thugs, Alfred assists, and there’s witty banter. We don’t even see Supes until the 53 (from a distance)/56 (close up) mark. Okay, okay. I know, it’s “Dawn of Justice.” Supes had a whole movie to re-introduce him to the world and now we need to see the others, Wonder Woman, Lex Luthor, and that darn bat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.

But then, at the 2:00-2:03 mark …

supesface

WHAT. THE. HECK?

(That’s much cleaner than what I thought in my head, but hey my kids might read this).

I think I whimpered rather loudly in the theater (before Deadpool). Supes face! My face! I’m crying. Here’s why:

I think I’ve mentioned before that hubs is a Batman fan. And you *may* have picked up on my Superman obsession. Now, I like Batman just fine, maybe even more than others, like a close second. But, to me, the answer to who’s the best, who would win, who’s the mack-daddy, will always always always be Superman. But the hubs has infected the kids. Every conversation about this movie invariably ends up turning into a “hey let’s stomp all over mom’s hopes and dreams” fest. The 13yo brings up gold kryptonite (dude, don’t go there) and the 8yo says, “C’mon mom, we all know Batman’s gonna win.” Curse you, hubs.

Even if I let all these shenanigans go as, at least partially, intentional aggravation, the treason continues. Hubs begins to talk about what the characters stand for and suddenly Batman’s a saint. Cue *major* eye roll.

“Batman believes people are capable of good and standing up for themselves. Superman just wants to rule over everyone and be the savior.” Well, yes, because he’s supposed to be god-like (not in a “no idols before Me” way, but merely representative; no one can deny the Biblical parallels). And, at least he doesn’t want to kill us all.

“Batman knows there are evil people, but he knows there are good ones too.” Well, Superman believes every person is capable of good.

“Batman is an ordinary man who’s made himself a hero.” Yeah, because being born into a billionaire family is ordinary.

At this point, it’s a good thing I don’t have heat vision.

heatvision

Published inEntertainmentMovies

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