Last updated on October 1, 2017
Okay, what are they smoking? Coke Zero does NOT taste like Coca Cola Classic. Â It has the same artificial sweetner-induced aftertaste (that’s the aspartame) that’s often found in the knock-offs. Â No matter the occasionally clever and more often corny commercials with the silly “da da dun da dun dun” jingle, Coke Zero is not as good as the real thing. Â I’ve actually had someone who didn’t own stock in Coca-Cola try to tell me that Zero tasted the same as Classic, but I’m blaming that on the fact that he was just weird anyway.
Eventually Coca-Cola will come to its senses and stop with the craziness, right? It’s just like when they introducedÂ New Coke in the early 90s and that flopped big time. Â Next thing you knew Coca Cola Classic was back and New Coke had disappeared. Â That’s ’cause they shipped it overseas. Â No really, they did. Â In ’96, we went to England for the week, and I couldn’t get a good coke the whole time we were there … or ice, but that’s a whole other issue.
Now, you might be thinking, why on Earth would she dedicate an entire post to this? Â Isn’t that a little silly? That reminds me of the time I tweeted that I got frustrated when Now and Laters didn’t unwrap perfectly and pieces of the paper stuck to the candy. Â My friend @kerrijack responded:
TouchÃ©. Â Indeed, neither eating a few pieces of wrapper that seem to hang on for dear life nor access to Coca-Cola Classic (because it’s the only one that counts) are life-changing or world-saving matters. But, see, I’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with sodas.
I’ve tried to quit drinking sodas more times than I can remember – all usually related to trying to be healthier … quitting caffeine, lowering sugar intake, or the latest, monitoring calories. Â It never sticks. Â I think the longest I’ve ever gone is about 6 months. Â I’m like an alcoholic only with sodas. Â One drink and I fall off the wagon again … full force, downing six-packs (and sometimes more) in a day. Â Trekking out in the threat of bad weather not for milk and bread but for soda.
It hasn’t always been Coke, though. Â When I was younger, my drink of choice was Dr. Pepper. Â In high school, someone’s (I can’t remember who) comment that you could build a wall with all my empty Dr. Pepper cans resulted in … well, building a wall.
What started out as a joke morphed into a tradition that remained in the yearbook classroom for awhile even after I graduated. Â Now all I can think about is “Did we rinse out the cans first? I can’t remember. Ew!”
But it’s always been the real deal with sodas and me. Â No diets, no caffeine frees (though I’ve tried) and now no zeroes. Â See, I’m on the wagon again right now, for fewer calories, but I’m barely hanging on. Â I’d rather not drink any soda at all than drink a Zero … and well, we know how long that’ll last.