Okay, what are they smoking? Coke Zero does NOT taste like Coca Cola Classic. It has the same artificial sweetner-induced aftertaste (that’s the aspartame) that’s often found in the knock-offs. No matter the occasionally clever and more often corny commercials with the silly “da da dun da dun dun” jingle, Coke Zero is not as good as the real thing. I’ve actually had someone who didn’t own stock in Coca-Cola try to tell me that Zero tasted the same as Classic, but I’m blaming that on the fact that he was just weird anyway.
Eventually Coca-Cola will come to its senses and stop with the craziness, right? It’s just like when they introduced New Coke in the early 90s and that flopped big time. Next thing you knew Coca Cola Classic was back and New Coke had disappeared. That’s ’cause they shipped it overseas. No really, they did. In ’96, we went to England for the week, and I couldn’t get a good coke the whole time we were there … or ice, but that’s a whole other issue.
Now, you might be thinking, why on Earth would she dedicate an entire post to this? Isn’t that a little silly? That reminds me of the time I tweeted that I got frustrated when Now and Laters didn’t unwrap perfectly and pieces of the paper stuck to the candy. My friend @kerrijack responded:
Touché. Indeed, neither eating a few pieces of wrapper that seem to hang on for dear life nor access to Coca-Cola Classic (because it’s the only one that counts) are life-changing or world-saving matters. But, see, I’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with sodas.
I’ve tried to quit drinking sodas more times than I can remember – all usually related to trying to be healthier … quitting caffeine, lowering sugar intake, or the latest, monitoring calories. It never sticks. I think the longest I’ve ever gone is about 6 months. I’m like an alcoholic only with sodas. One drink and I fall off the wagon again … full force, downing six-packs (and sometimes more) in a day. Trekking out in the threat of bad weather not for milk and bread but for soda.
It hasn’t always been Coke, though. When I was younger, my drink of choice was Dr. Pepper. In high school, someone’s (I can’t remember who) comment that you could build a wall with all my empty Dr. Pepper cans resulted in … well, building a wall.
What started out as a joke morphed into a tradition that remained in the yearbook classroom for awhile even after I graduated. Now all I can think about is “Did we rinse out the cans first? I can’t remember. Ew!”
But it’s always been the real deal with sodas and me. No diets, no caffeine frees (though I’ve tried) and now no zeroes. See, I’m on the wagon again right now, for fewer calories, but I’m barely hanging on. I’d rather not drink any soda at all than drink a Zero … and well, we know how long that’ll last.