What I Wanted (circa March 1991)

I never wanted it to come to this.
I guess I have no other choice.
And when I say goodbye to you,
I’ll hide the pain that’s in my voice.

I tried for so long
To just hold on to you.
Even though I knew you weren’t mine,
I did everything I could possibly do.

I wanted to know everything about you.
I wanted to be your friend.
I wanted to be the one you ran to
When you heart needed someone to mend.

I wanted to be the one who stuck by you,
The one you would always need.
And if ever you were lost,
I wanted to be the one to lead.

I wanted to make you happy.
To see you smile so bright
Made my face light up and my heart
Spread wings and take flight.

But then I saw you with someone else.
You looked so happy and carefree.
At first, I admit, I was jealous.
You were supposed to be happy with me.

You were smiling and laughing
And having lots of fun.
And then I realized that was what I had wanted,
And now the deed is done.

You’re happy and in love
And you’re not in love with me.
Yet, I found what I wanted most,
And now, somehow, I feel free.

I loved you dearly.
I can’t deny.
But if you’re truly happy this way,
Then, I must admit, so am I.

No longer will I pursue you
Or try to make you mine.
And as far as our friendship lasting,
Well, that lies within the hands of time.

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